When a marriage is struggling, couples often aren’t sure who to turn to. Should you speak to a pastor? A Christian counsellor? A therapist? Each can help, in different ways. Knowing the difference helps you choose well.
What pastoral care is
Pastoral care is support from a pastor or church leader. It’s rooted in the Bible and in prayer. A pastor helps you see your situation in the light of God’s word, encourages repentance, forgiveness and faithfulness, and points you to Christ for strength.
Pastoral care is often especially helpful for:
- couples who want their faith at the centre of the conversation
- questions about forgiveness, covenant and what the Bible says about marriage
- rebuilding trust and learning to pray together again
- preparing for marriage
- couples who would never consider “therapy”, but would talk to a pastor
What counselling and therapy are
Counsellors and psychotherapists are trained in talking therapies. In the UK, many are registered with professional bodies such as the BACP or UKCP. Some are Christians and bring their faith into their work. Others don’t.
Professional counselling or therapy is often the right choice for:
- depression, anxiety or trauma
- addiction
- the effects of abuse
- mental health conditions that need specialist care
They can work together
Pastoral care and professional help aren’t rivals. Many people benefit from both: a counsellor or GP for mental health, and a pastor for spiritual support and guidance in the marriage.
“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22 (ESV)
What Pastor Victor offers
Pastor Victor offers Christian pastoral care for couples, based on the Bible. It isn’t clinical therapy. His programmes for couples are confidential one-to-one sessions for couples in crisis, couples who want a stronger marriage and engaged couples.
If, during your sessions, it becomes clear you need medical or specialist help, it’s wise to seek it alongside your pastoral support.
If you need urgent help
- In an emergency, call 999.
- If you’re struggling to cope, Samaritans are available day or night on 116 123.
- If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, call the free, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247, or the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327.
- For mental health concerns, your GP is a good place to start.
Not sure which you need?
That’s fine. Send a short enquiry and Pastor Victor will arrange a short call to talk about your situation and whether his sessions are the right fit. You may also find signs it’s time to ask for help useful.
