Blog
Showing 30 posts
Rebuilding trust
Rebuilding trust after betrayal: where to start
Trust broken by betrayal can be rebuilt, but slowly and on purpose. Here are the first steps for the spouse who was hurt and the spouse who caused the hurt.
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Rebuilding trust
What forgiveness is, and what it isn’t
Forgiveness is central to a Christian marriage, and widely misunderstood. A plain look at what the Bible asks of us when we’ve been hurt.
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Rebuilding trust
The first weeks after an affair comes out
The days after an affair is discovered are some of the hardest a couple can face. What to do, and what to avoid, in the first few weeks.
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Rebuilding trust
When you feel more like flatmates than husband and wife
Many couples don’t fight. They just drift. How to notice the distance and start closing it before it becomes a crisis.
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Rebuilding trust
What real repentance looks like in a marriage
Saying sorry is a start. Repentance goes further. What the Bible means by repentance, and how it looks between a husband and wife.
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Rebuilding trust
Is it too late for our marriage?
When a marriage has been hard for a long time, it’s natural to wonder if it’s beyond saving. Some honest questions to help you think it through.
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Talking and conflict
How to listen so your spouse feels heard
Most arguments get worse because neither person feels listened to. Simple, practical ways to listen well in a marriage.
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Talking and conflict
Arguments that go round in circles, and how to break them
If you keep having the same argument, the topic usually isn’t the real problem. How to spot the pattern and step out of it together.
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Talking and conflict
A simple weekly check-in for couples
Twenty minutes a week that can keep small problems small. A simple structure any couple can use, with questions to get you started.
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Talking and conflict
Talking about money without a row
Money is one of the most common sources of tension in marriage. How to talk about it calmly, plan together and stop it coming between you.
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In-laws, family and healthy boundaries
Marriage joins two families. How to honour your parents and in-laws while putting your marriage first, with practical ways to set kind boundaries.
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Talking and conflict
How to apologise well
A good apology can end an argument and begin repair. What a real apology includes, what to avoid, and how to receive one.
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Preparing for marriage
Questions to talk through before you marry
The conversations engaged couples are glad they had before the wedding: expectations, money, family, faith, children and conflict.
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Why marriage preparation is worth the time
With a wedding to plan, preparation sessions can feel like one more thing. Here’s why many couples find them some of the most useful hours before the big day.
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Expectations: the quiet cause of early arguments
Many early arguments in marriage come from expectations neither person said out loud. How to bring them into the open before they cause hurt.
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Marrying across cultures and church backgrounds
Marrying someone from a different culture or church tradition can be a rich blessing. How to talk about differences in family, faith and everyday life.
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Preparing for marriage
What to expect in the first year of marriage
The first year of marriage is full of joy and adjustment. What many couples find surprising, and how to build good habits from the start.
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Planning your marriage while you plan your wedding
Wedding planning can take over an engagement. Simple ways to keep your relationship and your faith at the centre in the months before the big day.
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Faith at home
Praying together as a couple when it feels awkward
Many Christian couples find it surprisingly hard to pray together. Simple, gentle ways to start, and to keep going.
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Faith at home
Bible passages for a struggling marriage
When your marriage is hard, Scripture offers comfort, wisdom and hope. Passages to read alone or together, with a short note on each.
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What the Bible means by covenant in marriage
Christians often describe marriage as a covenant. What does that word mean, and how does it change the way we think about commitment?
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Faith at home
A threefold cord: Ecclesiastes 4:12 and your marriage
A verse often read at weddings, and a picture of a marriage with God at the centre. What it means and how to live it out.
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Reading Ephesians 5 together
Ephesians 5 is one of the Bible’s best-known passages on marriage, and one of the most discussed. A gentle way for couples to read it together.
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Faith at home
How to use a devotional together as a couple
A devotional can help couples read the Bible and pray together without pressure. Practical tips for choosing one and making it a habit.
Read moreGetting help
Pastoral care or counselling: what’s the difference?
Christian couples looking for help often wonder whether to see a pastor or a counsellor. A plain guide to the difference, and when each is the right choice.
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Signs it’s time to ask for help with your marriage
Many couples wait too long before asking for help. Some signs that talking to someone outside your marriage could make a real difference.
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Getting help
What happens in a first session
Booking a first session with a pastor can feel daunting. What to expect, from the first enquiry to the end of your first meeting.
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Online or in person: choosing what suits you
Sessions with Pastor Victor can be online or in person. The pros of each, and practical tips for making online sessions work well.
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When your spouse won’t come to sessions
It’s common for one spouse to be more willing to get help than the other. What you can do, and how to look after yourself, if your spouse won’t come.
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Getting help
When the pastor’s marriage is struggling
Pastors and their spouses face particular pressures, and often have nowhere safe to turn. Why it happens, and where to find confidential help.
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